“Hey-ho” greeted Santa to his little female elves.
Joke of the day! ๐Ÿ™‚
So today’s topic isn’t much of a topic.
I love the ‘Nigerian Twitter’ scene as it’s called by some. Everyone is a critic, everyone is a saint on Sunday. Everyone’s a photographer, everyone is a blogger.
Why am I blogging about Twitter? It is not my usual is it?
No it isn’t. But I read something so interesting, I felt the need to blog about it!
And this is ‘The Birdies’. If you don’t know about it, nna mehn your last get K leg o! Hia!
So yeah, The Birdies.
Seriously LMAO.
First I saw a tweet about it, I wondered who was dumb enough to give birds awards. Apparently, it’s a ‘Twitter Award’.
In a way,we are all birds, twittering on the Internet tree. (And we are all spiders on the WorldWide Web. :D)

So here was what came to mind. In the Avian world, we have different classes ofcourse. Same with twitter!

1. The Parrot: Those twitter users that tweet a lot. Highly humorous. Sarcastic. Sometimes repetitive but we like them anyway..that is until they begin to annoy the hell out of you! E.g. @ *insert handles*

2. The Ostrich/Emu: These are the bigwigs of twitter. The largest birds. Every tweet of theirs is like laying an egg. Have you seen an Ostrich’s egg?? Friggin’ huge yo! So the eggs..sorry tweets get retweeted and you know the drill. Big shots. You don’t mess with the Ostriches/Emus. It’s impossible to pick fights with them. Try picking a fight with a REAL Ostrich first!
Anyway, you get the picture. E.g @*insert suitable handles*

3. The Penguin: These ones are the last carriers. How won’t they carry last when they live in the Southern hemisphere! Two weeks later after the number game on twitter ended, one penguin whose Last was a Sumo wrestler, came back with it! Negro please! E.g @*insert the last carriers on your TL*

4. The Woodpecker: These are the noise makers. The otimkpus. The hypers and over-hypers. You know yourselves!

5. The Hummingbird: These are the small, flighty and flirty users on your TL. Those ones that fly up and down making trouble, flirting with other users. They have the most fun in my opinion!

6. The Vulture: You only see these group of people when something bad’s happening or has happened. They don’t necessarily need to know the details of what has happened. They just see fresh meat and fly in. They’d join in dissing a person or persons. They’d join in abusing Vic O even though they’ve never heard any of his creative songs. *insert epileptic fit here*. You get the idea right?

7. The Owl: Team Twitter after dark kwenu! In the night when people in their time zones are asleep, they crawl out like maggots in a rotten fruit. Nocturnal animals, looking for small preys to set P with. P for Prey. Lol. What? It’s funny. -_-.

8. The Pigeon: Full of shit. That is the easiest way to describe these geezers. They so full of crap (like the avian citizens of Trafalgar Square), you just want to go all Robin Hood on them. Bow and arrow, shoot the fuckers down. But you can’t. It is their account and they can tweet whatever shit they want! *Echoes of ‘TuraCool’ across the gallery* Huh? I don’t know what y’all are on about. -_-

9. The Hen: A.k.a The Voltron. Defender of the …..whatever. I shall draw your attention to a igbo native fowl called Okuko abuke. You ever seen those hungry looking hens? Those roadkills that no beggar ever picks up? Yeah! Those are the Voltrons. Have you seen two cocks fight??(No homo!..or Omo as our Ibadan citizens would call it.) You should! Those birds would fight for the most stupid of things. They are champions in drinking Panadol for another bird’s headache!
Notice how they’re the prime choice of food of all the birds mentioned! First to die no dey go heaven! (This makes no sense whatsoever!)

10. The Dodo: These ones are advised to close their accounts and go back to Hi5..or NIPOST. That is all.

11. The Swan: These are the cool, calm and collected birdies on your TL. Easy to flow with them. Graceful tweeps. Their tweets are always retweeted with “#Deep” or “#Gbam”. If you don’t have these kind on your TL….I don’t know what to say about you!

12. The Raven: The goths of Birdieville! All black everything. *shows off blackened nails*. These are the hard rockers. The heavy metal lovers. It’s all about the Dark Art! It’s all about their dark humour! The weirdos. (The REAL ones o not the cheap imitations that are flocking like geese -_-). E.g @weird_oo ๐Ÿ˜€

13. The Cuckoo: These are the famzers. When I say famzers, I don’t mean those that give genuine compliments to Celebrities and ‘celebrities’ (There’s a difference! Khaki no be leather but we go wear am!) (Off point). Yeah. When I say famzers, I mean those who greet Donjazzy “Good moreen” before they pray to God. Those hardcore ones! Chai!
The cuckoo bird is known to lay its eggs in the nest of other birds.
Now you see why I call them famzers? ๐Ÿ˜€

There is a group that doesn’t exist on the Nigerian twitter scene.
The Falcon/Hawk. These ones have people that tweet for them. A manager in charge!
E.g @Obama ยฏ\..(โ€ขอก.ฬฎ โ€ขอก )../ยฏ ๐Ÿ˜€
You can’t compete, sorry!

So yeah, when I heard The Birdies, that was all that came to mind. I wonder who came up with it and just what categories there are!
‘Voltron of the year’
‘P setter of the year’
‘Oracle of the year’
‘I-try-so-hard-to-be-funny of the year’
‘I-google-inspirational-quotes of the year’
‘Twitterho of the year’
‘I-come-up-with-TTs of the year’
‘I-have-trended-before of the year’

Cool stories bro!

Anyway, back to reality.
It’s the weekend!
Chairs to the friggin’ weekend, I’d seat to that yeah yeah yeah \__

I should have a psychedelic story coming up much later by my co-writer Dionysus!
That being said,

JANA!

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