Let me start by saying, THIS IS NOT A STORY.
Ok it is a story but not fiction.
Argh! Whatever!

Anyway, I just felt like writing something very akin to blogposts about lifestyle and all.
I was washing plates and pots on Friday (as usual, slave things :'() and I remembered a story my friend told me. Hilarious something. Decided I’d share as God loves a cheerful giver (I have a Charity btw…only £s thanks).

So, here it goes.
My friend, I’d call K. had this friend; a guy. They were pretty close and there was the ‘chemistry’ a.k.a sexual tension between them.
One day he texts her, saying his grandma died and he needed comforting. K is a really really kind girl (which is why she’s my friend) and she sensed his loneliness and sadness. She went to his house to lend him a shoulder to cry on.
She went into his room because he was on the bed weeping and they cuddled..and you know how cuddles progress (sometimes). From hugs to rubbing noses to ‘mwah’ then ‘mweeh’ then ‘mmmmweeeh’.
Whatever, you get my drift.
So yeah, they were wrapped up in their passion. Bra aka brezzie (Igbo kwenu!) came off and before the adoration of my friend’s awesome E-cup boobs could begin, her phone rang.
(Somebody shout HALLELUYAH!)
Yeah, it was her father and he needed her at home so she apologised to him for the whole ‘shenanigan’ and left.
Some days later, the dude called her, sounding like the world has ended. Dude really loved his granny sha!
K as usual went to his rescue.
On her way to his house, she meets his sister and K being K, hugged her, giving her condolences.
That was when the sister said, and I quote:
“Umm…my grandma died 10years ago”

EHN??
K was baffled and told her about her brother.
The sister confirmed his stupidity by saying, and I quote:
“Don’t mind him. The boy’s stupid”

Then K pieced the jigsaw puzzle in her head.
The boy only wanted the sympathy so that the empathy derived from the sympathy would bring about a synchronisation of the flesh.
A.k.a, he just wanted to set P and his dead grandmother was just the perfect excuse.

Of course, K felt like her kindness was used against her and got angry. She didn’t go back home.
Nooo…that would make the story boring.
She went to his house and his room.
She kept quiet as he was going on and on.
Then he started kissing her.

That was when K gave him a slap to rival that of the HolySpirit.
The shock of the slap of course destroyed every kind of konji in his system.
He was vexed and was raking.
“Why did you slap me!”
Then K revealed the truth to the nigga. Seeing as his lie was exposed, he apologised shamefaced.
Said he liked her but didn’t know how to tell her.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
K, being K, forgave him but they sure didn’t synchronise any flesh.

And that was where the story was cut short because I was dying of laughter and we got sent out of the library for noise-making (by a librarian whom we believed was racist because she always sent out the black people for noise making…even though we made the most noise -_-)
Ladies and gentlemen, Konji na confam baskard.
So, yeah…guys…just how far will you go to set that P?
Why evuls??
Why? Why? Why?

As the critically-acclaimed ‘Valentine’s day’ approaches, many okunrins and obinrins (boys and girls) are booking for their dose of sexual healing and sanctification.
To those who can’t afford the new Blackberry Porsche, 50k dinner and other expensive ‘leg-opening’ gifts, what would be your excuse to set that P?
If you have used an excuse to set any game, what was it?
Please share in the comment section.
I’m bored and I need a laugh.

Tee Hee!

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