Yes, it’s that time of the month again when I feel the need to chat shit and have you people read. AbI all na blogging no be so? At least I didn’t steal this post off a newspaper in a certain state…like say Delta. (Though why anyone would want to steal an article from Delta is in itself a dilemma worthy of prayers)
this is not a rant or even a rambling post. Ok maybe it is a bit of a rambler. I’ve got a lot on my mind so feel like sharing my burden.

1. Contracts cannot be spelt without Con. I’m actually vexed because the insurance contract company I use for my phone have tried to con me. I dey my house, jehjehly preparing for work and they called. Insurance this and that. The price was reasonable so me sef agree. The gay sounding dude  I spoke to even promised one free month.
10 days later , these earthly abominations went into my account to find money. Luckily for me, I used the cash in there. Now my bank have send me letter that I musto pay fee for overdraft.
It’s annoying sha and I plan on callimg them on Monday and asking if they left their mothers’ head inside my account that they’re going inside there.
Baskards.

2. What is this nonsense obsession with big D. (if you have no idea what a D is, come here and touch your toes so I show you.)
As I was saying, what’s so special? I just saw a tweet where one guy was making noise about his size 10.
10inches. 12inches. Hian!
Are you drilling a borehole inside? Are you pounding yam? Are you an alien?
Y U NO CUT THE BLOODY TENTACLE???
Is it not a human being you will kpansh?? Are you fertilizing her womb or her gullet??
I’m not a big fan (pun dey here) of that Mandingo sHit ok? I’m very delicate…and stuff -.-

3. The third shit annoying me is this autocorrect. Yes, it just annoyed me…again! I need to program the shit to type swear words. Urgh.

4. I don’t know why this just came to mind but I will type it. An ex once called me fat. Not to my face o. Not on the phone. ON FACEBOOK.
WHY EVULS! I was…I was pleasantly chubby mehn! So yeah, I vexed, went all Sage mode and lost some of it.
You know when they said karma was a bitch, yeah no be joke!
As my God who never sleeps would have it, story began to filter. Apparently, the dude’s gf cleared his bank account.
He gave her his pin in the name of love.
OVOKO!
Hahahaha! I might be big boned but I’m no thief! Just saying.
Plus why would you give someone your pin? So people still do mumu things like that?
Give your pin/password.
akuko! On top wetin? you follow me open the account? Please and please desist from such bushbaby behaviour thanks!
I don’t want to hear “It’s romantic.”
No it isn’t!
Sharing one lollipop/plate of rice is romantic.
Sharing pin/password? MBA. When we are not married.

look I’m tired. Tired of typing. I’m actually standing up for this. Smh. I do feel a lot better though.
If you don’t like this, kiss my sybian! Not that I have any *cough*

That is all.
Chairs to the frigging weekend. I’d sit to that yeah yeah yeah \_

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