Yes, Yes, stop feeling psychic with yaselves!
We know this is not a story! I’ve been busy…really busy. Too busy to pander to your osho-free needs of a good story. Shior.

Anyway, it’s that time of the month again.
I was cooking in the kitchen and suddenly, i remembered something hilarious that happened to me years ago. Mind you, it wasn’t hilarious then but my memories are like fine, old wine; better with age.
Anyway, yes.
You know there’s this survey that says “One in four people is a psycho/lunatic/cuckoo/ogbanje victim? Yes.
One day, I met that One in four people.
I was jehjehly coming back from college, walking to the bus stop. This boy stopped in front of me and said hi.
I hate being rude to people so I too said “Hello?”
“You look nice.”
I raised one eyebrow “Thank you?”
“What’s your name?”
At this point i was thinking, ‘Nna GTFOH make i pass’ but hey, I’m polite.
I said the first name that came to mind. “Ngozi”
“Oh what a beautiful name”

He was Somalian anyway…or he looked Somalian; curly hair, black shiny skin, big buttocks.
“Can i have your number?”
Hmm…Let me think “No.”
i walked around him and passed.
The dude followed me.
I entered the bus.
He entered the bus.
I felt “Hey, maybe he’s going the same way. Coincidence.”
For where!
I jumped down from the bus and took the second bus.
Dude did the same.
I was still thinking it was a conincidence.
I got down at my final stop.
Dude got down.
I turned.
“Are you following me?”
Dude smiled. “Yes. I want to know your house.”
Chineke. On top wetin?
I felt threatened i swear. My heart started beating fast mehn.
“Go away!” i said and started walking
This dude followed me.
My house has got two entrances.
I started walking fast. As in fast.
I wasn’t running yet.
The dude matched my speed.
I turned to him ” Dude if you don’t fucking back off i’d call the police!”
He smiled. “Call them”.
That’s when my soul told me “ChiChi, you don enter o”
I walking slowly…slowly. The dude was lured into a false sense of ‘She will take me to her house’ security.
Suddenly, i started running.
Dude did not expect it so i was able to move out of his line of sight before he started running.
Oh boy, the race wey i tear that day. Chi gurl was an animal mehn.
I ran like a bawse. B-)
Went home and started banging on the door.
“Open!! Open!!”
I was shouting o.
My sister opened the door and i jumped into the house and slammed the door shut.
I went to the kitchen and started looking through the window.
Saw the guy come and started pacing around. Trying to decide which house i entered into.
When he was tired, he left.
My sister was now asking me what was pursuing me.
“A dog. -_-”

After that day, “Hello girl”, ChiChi would cross the road and start walking fast.
Abeg o.
Jesus did not die for that kind of nonsense.
But let me not lie, the reason i ran was because he wasn’t fine -_-
If he was…hehehe…
I wee show him that POWER pass power. Psycho pass psycho.
They call me the Minister of Internal Affairs. *coughs* *dusts shoulder*
Don’t ask who they is, thanks.

Anyway, That’s all!
Hey if you have had any crazy experience with a psycho man or woman, share!!