Hey! Impromptu post! Something that just came to mind as I was on my way to work! If you haven’t read or watched Hunger Games, you probably won’t fully understand this the way I want you to so do me a favour, WATCH IT! (After  you read…or before you read…whatever)

Anyway, ENJOY!

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He slid into her, pacing himself, reveling in her languid moans.
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“Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to this segment of the Hunger Games event!”

(Crowd cheers)

“This event as we all know, has been going on for quite a while now. Till, date, we have only had 2 winners, emerge from this competition! Today, we shall be having a fresh batch of smerps as they are called, compete for the ultimate price, The Hand of Ova!”

(Crowd cheers louder. Cat-whistles rent the air)

“Oh. This just in. They are getting ready to come in. Ladies and Gentlemen, get ready to be blown! And here they come!! The contestants! A big cheer people!”

(Crowd cheers as the contestants swim into the narrow red tube.)

“We seem to have a huge turn out of contestants today! Let us hear what they have to say! Contestant 1! Let’s start from you. How are you feeling today!”

“Oh I’m ready to go! Flagella’s powered to the max. I know I will win this!”

(Crowd cheers wildly at the confident statement. Contestant 1 strikes a pose, flexing his head.)

“Thank you contestant 1! Let’s go over to Contestant 40! Our last contestant. How confident are you today? Will you survive and do what your predecessors have failed to do in the last three games?”

“Ah yessa. Me gonna win today. Ma momma tole me nota come back if ah lose. Me gonna win even say tis the last ting ah do.”

“Brave! Brave indeed! Though your momma failed to realise that you won’t be coming back if you don’t win as you’ll be dead! HAHAHA! Over to Contestant 15 who is a woman! A stunning one too! What’s your strategy to win honey?”

“I plan on using my charm and amazing beauty to convince the others to let me win”

“Oh smoking! Interesting strategy 15! Too bad you just revealed it so it won’t work would it? HAHAHA!”

(Crowd laughs uproariously)

“Contestant 23! You are dressed weirdly. Won’t these bags hamper your movements as you progress in the games?”

“Oh no. Just watch me. Oh just watch me. He. He. He.”

“Oh interesting chap. Creepy. And that laugh, shivers. It seems the other Contestants are wary of him too! Anyway, enough of the chit-chat. Let’s get the games started! To our contestants, good luck and may the eggs be ever in your favour!”

(Crowd roars as the contestants go to the starting line)

“On your marks. Set. GO!”

“And they’re off! OH! CONTESTANT 23 HAS TURNED ON HIS MATES AROUND HIM! HE HAS REDUCED COMPETITION BY GETTING RID OF CONTESTANTS 5, 27,24 AND 30! AMAZING!”

(Crowd screams, egging him on)

“And first to get into the Great Wall of Uteru is Contestant 1! He is one to watch out for. Deftly avoiding the obstacles and forging ahead. Close behind him are contestants 3, 6, 12…oh and 13 has overtaken 12. Are they pushing? Nice! This I must say is turning out to be a better game than the last one! The contestants are not giving up!”

(Crowd suddenly start cheering and the commentator turns)

“Oh my Eggs! It’s Contestant 23!! He is getting rid of 12 and 13 as we speak! AMAZE-BALLS!! He has left a trail of destruction behind him! ALL OTHER CONTESTANTS BEHIND ARE DEAD! HOW DID HE DO THIS! WOW! Only four contestants are left on the course! We can see Contestant 1 looking back, trying to access the situation. He is losing the valuable lead he had gotten. Contestant 3 is slowly catching up, though I’m not sure what is really egging him on, the will to win or the threat of destruction from Contestant 23! He and Contestant 1 are in the Fallopi tube!  6 is closely behind and 23 is slowly catching up to 6! Oh! Oh my! 6 DOWN! CONTESTANT 6 IS DOWN! WOW! CONNIVING 23! VERY CONNIVING!”

(Crowd screams in jubilation)

“Wow! Contestant 23 is definitely proving to be the crowd’s favorite! They are baying for blood! Uh oh! What is this? Contestant 23 slips! It seems Contestant 3 had a trap set! Wonderful! keeps getting better! We can hear the crowd groan as their Wonderboy falls. He picks himself up and waved cheerily at the crowd. Oh, he’s riling them up! I think he has a plan!”

(Crowd chanting “23! 23! 23! 23!”)

“And he’s off, full throttle! Contestant 3 has overtaken Contestant 1! Oh he’s closing on to the finish line! We can see the price in view, the magnificent Ova! Will 1 catch up before 3 reaches the last stop or does 23 have another trick up his sleeves for us! Can he stop them fast enough to win?”

(The crowd still chanting, start pointing)

“Oh dear! 23 has stopped! I think this is the trick we’ve all been waiting for! This is going to be IT! OH! HE DROPS HIS BAG AND BRINGS OUT A CONTRAPTION! WHAT IS THIS? A MODIFIED SLING? He peers into a lens and clicks!”

(Crowd goes crazy)

“HOLY GENITALIA!!! CONTESTANT 3 IS OUT! SO IS 1! WOWWIDY!! IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR CONTESTANT 23 TO DO? HE CLEARLY GOT RID OF COMPETITION WITH THE STRANGE CONTRAPTION! A BRIGHT BEAM OF LIGHT AND WHOOSH! OH? IT’S CALLED A BAZOOKA! HOLY!!”

(Increased yell of “23!” continues)

“And the crowd is loving it! Look at him go! Strutting to the finish line! He stops and waves at the crowd and they’re going crazy! Fantastic! I must say Contestant 23 has been a joy to watch and his devotion to his fans is just top-notch! Wo..”

(Someone in the crowd screams)

“Oh dear! OH MY PRECIOUS EGGS! Unbelievable! The most unbelievable thing just happened! CONTESTANT 23 IS OUT! I REPEAT, HE IS OUT! WE HAVE NO WINNER!!!”

(Crowd boos in disappointment)

“Uh oh the crowd is not happy! Let me explain what just happened here. It seemed Contestant 3 had not died yet! He was able to shoot something at Contestant 23 before he crossed the Finish line! Amaze-balls! And Contestant 3 died immediately after! He must have used up his last energy to fire that bolt of energy! This is what the games are about! This is why we are here! This is the HUNGER GAMES!!!”

(Crowd grudgingly claps, and soon, the applause spreads across the gallery)

“This has been an amazing experience here at the Reproductive Centre! For the fourth time, we have no winner but this undeniably has been the best game so far! How can we forget Contestant 23!”

(Crowd screams at the mention of Contestant 23)

“Ah! Wonderful crowd. Their posthumous support for Contestant 23 has been so great! Thank you very much for tuning in today! I shall be here once again, for the next round of Hunger Games. My name’s Fundus and it has been a pleasure being here today! Thank you once again and GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers and slowly, disperses)

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She sighed in satisfaction.
“Think we probably made another baby?” she whispered
He drew her close and kissed her. “I bet we did”
She smiled and nodded.
“Andy and Jamie need a new sister!”
He chuckled “Or another brother!”
“Bah! Not another boy! I need a mini me”

They laughed and cuddled, and later slept.
No baby was conceived that night.
No winner at the Hunger Games.

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TEE HEE!
😀
COMMENT!

*Gets back to work, listening to the BOSS nag*

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