I know, I know. I haven’t written anything here.
Suck lemons. Inspiration cannot be picked up on the streets.

Having a bad day and you know what i get like when I have those. Yes, cranky.

This isn’t even a rant.
More like a bitter review.

I am sure most of you knew about Bag of Rice Ross coming to Lagos et al.


Decided to evaluate the dress sense/looks of the some people that attended.

I got these pictures from bellanaija.com so you can go there to see everything.
Don’t even know if it is legal to cull the pictures but I’m just too tired to care ok?

Right here, I’m just going to pick the bad ones.
What? I am nice.


Number 1, this lady.

I am actually struggling to understand what is going on.
1. I love the jacket.
Everything else is unsightly. Should I start from below?

1. The shoes. HORRENDOUS. Horrendous design. Horrendous colour.
Horrendous style that doesn’t go with her ensemble.

2. Those trousers. Either it was an artistic idea of a deranged tailor, it it was a bad attempt at tacking up torn trousers with pins.
What would have happened if she had worn plain black trousers??

3. Turtle necked shirt+ the chunky thing on her neck.
I will just LOOOOL and move to the next picture please. Can’t look at this for long.


Eva Alordiah.
I love Eva’s music.
I love her style..sometimes.
This, is a lesson on Doing too much.
I understand the fact that she’s trying to go for the ‘Rockstar’ look.
This right here, went to the Rockstar look bus stop, passed it, and stopped at the Mildly insane bus stop.
Any further and she’d have looked like Denrele.
I mean. The leather jacket is so friggin cool. Why add the leather gloves?
Not just one, BUT TWO!
And the gaudy baubles that she adorned her fingers with are just too damn poor!
Love the skull ring. Does it work here, Not for me!


I have only two words to say about this:


Bikonu what is this?
This…This is just..i don’t even know.
Pretty lady, from her waist up.
I won’t even start with the fact that this was worn in Nigeria.
The boots just did not work.
Not one bit.
My Chi says no to this.


Some jokes just tell themselves.
Where do i start from?
I mean, this is a Rick Ross fan if I’ve ever seen one.
Built like him dammit!
And the dress?
Good Lord. Can your Precious blood wash away even this sin?
*cries into teacup*
The hair. The bag. The shoes. The…EVERYTHING.
I’d recommend a meeting with Toolz O for this lady.
She seriously needs that Body Magic Toolz O uses.
That shit can make Rick Ross look like Big Sean no lies!


When i first saw this picture, I swear I actually thought it was a Photoshop trick.
Like the same person, twice.
Sadly, they’re sisters and it seems looks are not the only thing they have in common.
Where do i start from?
Their pose? Almost like the Earth tilted when they stood and you find yourself slanting slightly just to look at them.
Their synchronized dressing? (or lack of dressing if i dare say)
Can i mention the poses again? Especially of the girl to the right.
Never seen a worse ‘Suck belle’ pose.  Or is that a ‘Push brezz up’ pose?
I can’t…just..
Next please.


Another one who needs to meet Toolz O.
I really do think Toolz should own her own fashion label. Like seriously.
Women like this shouldn’t be found wearing something this painfully…disturbing.
This is a look only slim girls should try.
Still short of words.
Like I can actually hear the cries of her genitalia, begging to breathe!
And are those shoes or did she tie red pieces of cloths to her ankles?
Even her belt is saying the pray of Forgiveness and Redemption
And she’s so good looking!
That is the annoying bit!
It’s almost like she was trying to re enact her slimmer days or something.
I just give up.

I am done.

Hungry and getting hungry gets me angrier.