Category: Light-hearted



Hey.
Today’s post is by someone who would rather remain anonymous.
Do enjoy!

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RIVER

I read my uncle’s stories. Not Uncle Jonah, Uncle Joseph.
It gets confusing sometimes to differentiate
them in my head; all the twins I know look and think alike, even though mother says Jonah and
Joseph were as different as night and day. Mother has a folder of his stories and drawings, most of
them are from his twenties. All his teenage fiction is lost now, gone with the wind. There’s also his
diary from 2001, the one which mother took in 2002 and kept. I think I’ve read that from cover to
cover many times. Then he didn’t use so many big words and there was happier then. In one of the
pages he actually called mom and grandma hags.

Mother doesn’t talk about my Uncles Jo any more.
She doesn’t talk much, about anything. I’ve seen videos of her from younger when she wore really
small shorts and rode horses on the beach and seemed to constantly laugh at every little thing. She
isn’t that person any more. She misses them though, in her own way. The family portrait from when
they were younger doesn’t have any dust on it, unlike most things in this house.
I was tiny the last time I saw Uncle Jo, a baby really so I don’t really remember much about him.
But I know him.
I know he used to hate people shortening his name. There’s a day here, March 14, when
he got really angry because he introduced himself to a girl and she asked if she could call him Jo. He
was angry about it, his name was just two syllables, two phonetic sounds and she wanted to shorten
it to one.
People shortened his name a lot Joey, Joe, Jo, Jay; some even shortened his surname. He
felt shortening a name was robbing it of its power. Joseph meant beloved, everything else meant
nothing. He wrote that he felt guilty after, she really didn’t mean anything by that. And he’d taken
out his frustrations on her. Uncle Ed used to do that a lot, feel guilty because he stood up for himself.
I think he was a coward or too sensitive, most times a mixture of both.

I know uncle Jo felt under pressure, much like I feel. It’s a different kind of pressure from the one I
feel but at least the effect is the same. Pressure not to disappoint. Constant anxiety, its like this
physical thing, your heart in your mouth, sweaty armpits and hours trying not to rationalize the things
you’ve done, looking for mistakes in them.
Mine is from being the only child mother has. Her greatest legacy. Mother is a very hands-on person in her life. And she believes in results, that the work should be done in secret and the results presented like a magician’s show, so it appears effortless,
apparently plucked out of thin air. She is that way with her work. And she is that way with me.
At home I can be petulant and sad and needy and whiny, at home I’m allowed to have emotions. But
outside, in the company of strangers I’m only allowed one; serenity.
Smile to older strangers, walk slowly at the buffet table, even though I can people taking second and third helpings, eating my
plate covered with small clumps of remnant food scraped from the edges of the serving trolleys with
a demure happy smile.
The happy child.
Uncle Joe was the good middle child. Every other role was taken, stuck-up first born, sadist spoilt last born. Mom and his brother fought constantly for
grandma’s attention and in all the noise, his own rebellions seemed small, a welcome relief. So he
stopped trying and started writing and drawing; eventually he had to choose. He chose drawing and
dropped the diaries.

The pressure is pretty bad on most days but I think I have it better than he did.
I’m not being ignored by mother at least not as badly as he was.
I wish I could write like he did. But I’m already in my teens and the gift hasn’t been passed down.
Maybe his was like a disease that snuck into his body undetected because of all the activity that
puberty brought on, and when everything settled, his Immune system worked through and found it
and neutralized it. Or maybe he gave up one medium of expression for another.
His pictures are beautiful. They are of dark things, but beautiful none the less.

There’s this particular one, inspired by this song he loves. It’s a girl on a bridge, leaning forward and looking over, at a much smaller
reflection of herself, rippling in the dark still river. The girl in the water is not looking back at her, instead she is looking at her hands, which are cupped together holding a dandelion. She is smiling, happy and oblivious to black murky water that surrounds her. The girl on the bridge is leaning so far
out that its certain she’ll fall.
The girl in the water looked like mom and the girl on the bridge had Uncle Jo’s hair. When mother first saw it, she stood there, in the gallery full of white walls and stared at it as her tears fell.
I cried too.
I don’t know why.
Maybe because the girl in the water was already so happy she didn’t care about the girl on the bridge. Perhaps it was because I knew only a truly sad
person could create something like that. Something so ominous an yet so simple. Or maybe I just felt
jealous and somewhat protective of the girl in the water; she was happy, but her happiness was
dependent on the girl on the bridge, if the girl on the bridge walked away, she would just cease to
exist.
You are the girl on the bridge, leaning out too far, hoping to catch a glimpse of a part of you that is
truly happy and oblivious to everything around her. Drifting away slowly, cradling what remains of
your innocence in her palms.
You will fall.
Because
That’s the only way you become the girl in the water.
Uncle Jo fell.
And his paintings and stories took on a life of their own.
I’ve been leaning over, reluctantly, looking for her. But so far, all I have seen is myself.

————————————————————————————–

*Sigh* 🙂
Jana..

Day 8


Today is the Sabbath and by the time you’re reading this, I’d probably be in the Temple.
Not sure why i wrote that. Lol.
Ummm… Got a headache so have no idea what to write on.
I’ll do free-form writing.
Good luck!

———————

Her eyes are large, open with wonder.
Eyelids flutter, enjoying the feel of her eyelashes.
Pupils dart to and fro, soaking in every movement, every colour.
Her eyes widen, drinking every image into their watery depths.
Mama. Dada. Her eyes stamp names to faces.

Her eyes aren’t so large. They open in wonder at the images that flutter on TV. They absorb the shapes and forms presented.
Tom and Jerry. Dora.
Stamping names to faces.

Her eyes open in amazement at words; letters. They take in every curve, every slant. They transfer the message to the brain, begging it to teach her hands what they’ve seen.

Her eyes flicker with worry. Numbers.
They try to make sense of them.
Sums. Subtraction.
They dim with irritation and tear up in frustration.

Her eyes see more. Do more. Soon her eyes become adorned with kohl. Dark lines accentuating lovely honey-brown pupils.
Her eyes suddenly begin to notice the opposite sex with interest.
Lashes flutter with flirtation. They water with unrequited love. They glaze with intense pleasure.
They’re beautiful and they attract men to her.

Her eyes see too much. They cry too much. They harden. Glaring in suspicion, leering in cynicism. They see shadows in light. They see devils in angels.
Beautiful brown eyes have become hard as flint; emotionless. That which attracted people to her now drives them away.

Her eyes are lined with age. They grow weaker. They squint to see. Colours blur. They become smaller, rheumy. They hide under layers of sagging skin.

Her eyes take in her lonely home. Suddenly, they remember what it felt like to be huge and new. They cry because they remember what is felt like to widen in wonder, to see the beauty in all things.

Her eyes go dimmer.

One day, her eyes closes.
They would open no more.

————————

Well that came out somewhat…ok right?
Have a lovely weekend! Happy Sabbath!
I’ll see you tomorrow.

Day 5


Hey!
I was going to write something interesting today. I just have this irritating ringing in my ears that is making it hard to concentrate. Decided to post another ‘game’ I of course did three years ago on Facebook. I’d delete my answers and put in new ones.
Here we go!

100 TRUTHS

1. Last beverage→ Is Water a beverage? If no, the the tea I had on Sunday.
2. Last phone call→ Vanteya! ^.^
3. Last text message→ College friend
4. Last song you listened to→ Hades by Kalmah
5. Last time you cried→ Ummm…sometime like that. 😡
♥ HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice? Yes.
7. Been cheated on?→ Probably. Did I care? No.
8. Kissed someone?→ *Shows Pro-Kisser badge*
9. Lost someone special? Yea.
10. Been depressed?→ A lot.
11. Been drunk and threw up? → Nope. I can’t waste my money to buy alcohol then throw it up. Am I mad? When my name is not Dangote.

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. Lapis Lazuli
14. Black (and yellow Black and Yellow :|)
15. Ummm…Black?

HAVE YOU:
16. Made new friends → Yes!  ^>^
17. Fallen out of love → I’m too fat to fall. I rolled out.
18. Laughed until you cried→ YES!
19. Met someone who changed you→ Yes 🙂
20. Found out who your true friends were → Yea…i think.
21. Found out someone was talking about you → Yea! Good things sha. 😀
22. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list → Hehehehehe. Mhmm. 😡
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → Not much asides old school mates and the few I’ve met up.
25. Do you have any pets → No
26. Do you want to change your name→ If it were necessary. Siobhan or Hades.
27. What did you do for your last birthday → Was a Saturday. Church praising God.
28. What time did you wake up today → Lol. 9am to turn off alarm. 9.30am to turn off alarm. 10am to switch off phone.
29. What were you doing at midnight last night → Proofreading something.
30. Name something you cannot wait for → Just one? Naruto to end. It haff do.
31. Last time you saw your father → Don’t ask.
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → My ummm…temperament maybe?
33. What are you listening to right now → tapping of keyboards from the laptop
34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Tom Marvolo Riddle? Yes. In my dreams.  (Harry Potter fans would get)
35. What’s getting on your nerves right now? → Hmmm… I won’t complain.
36. Most visited webpage → Spankwire. -_-.
FACTS
37. What’s your name → Chi
38. Nicknames→ Chichi, Weirdo, Chimchim. Chubby Chubs
39. Relationship Status → Nna mehn, I just dey look.
40. Zodiac sign→ Picses
41. Male or female or transgendered→ Trangendered. I was Chinonso before. -_-
42. Primary→ Pampers Private School
43. High School → Rainbow College Senior High
44. College → Tower Hamlets College
45. Hair colour → Black 1B
46. Long/medium/short → Going medium.
47. Height → 5ft 5 inches and some jara
48. Do you have a crush on someone? I want to crush someone. Same thing?
49: What do you like about yourself? → I am nerdy
50. Home Town → Umuonyeagwu/Okija (Fear me beeshes!)
51. Tattoos → No thank you.
52. Righty or lefty → Righty

♥ FIRSTS :
53. First surgery → None
54. First relationship → Ah. I been start early. E don tey.
55. First best friends → Chiemelie from Primary 4 Red and Onyinye from Church
56. First sport you joined → Athletics
57. First pet → None.
58. First vacation→ My village o.
59. First concert → iGospel Concert
60. First crush → Michael Jackson (First and everlasting)

♥ RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Nothing.
62. Drinking → Nothing
63. Already missing → Someone
64. I’m about to → Go to sleep hopefully.
65. Listening to → Tap. Tap. Tap. Laptop keys
66. Thinking about → When this questioning will be done
67. Waiting for? Christmas break

♥ YOUR FUTURE :
68. Want kids? → Dunno.
69. Want to get married? → Nope. But I can’t stay celibate forever so Yea.
70. Careers in mind → Plenty plenty.

♥ WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
71. Lips or eyes → Will eyes kiss me? Mschew. LIPS
72. Hugs or kisses → BOTH
73. Shorter or taller → Shorter than me? Is he a 4 year old? Hia!
74. Older or Younger → Hehehehe. No preference.
75. Romantic or spontaneous → Umm. No idea. Both?
76. Nice stomach or nice arms → I like my men with slightly pouchy stomachs. ^>^
77. Sensitive or loud → Middle ground
78. Hook-up or relationship → I don’t set P. Rela-tion-ship.
79. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble maker!!! But with sense o biko.

HAVE YOU EVER :
81. Drank hard liquor → Yes.
82. Lost glasses/contacts → Nope.
83. Had sex on 1st date – Nope.
84. Broken someone’s heart → Hobby.
85. Had your own heart broken → Nope.
86. Been arrested → Not yet.
87. Turned someone down → Yes. “I don’t like you like THAT sorry -_-”
88. Cried when someone died → Yes.
89. Liked a friend that of the same sex? → Yea. that is why it’s called a friendship. You like them. -_-

♥ DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself → Sometimes
91. Miracles → In hardwork and Prayers
92. Love at first sight → No.
93. Heaven → Yes. *builds ladder to heaven*
94. Santa Claus → LOL On top wetin?
95. Kiss on the first date? → Well it depends…
96. Angels → Yes

♥ ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes.
98. Had more than one boyfriend/GIRLFREIND? LOL. Back in the day mehn…
99. Wish you could change things in your past? Yea. Getting a D in an essay -_-
100. Are you posting this as 100 Truths? → NOOOOOOO. -_-

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And I am done!
Have a lovely day! See you tomorrow!

Day 3


It’s exactly 3am in the morning and I am here, sneezing and pecking at my laptop keys I was going to put up a story today but decided against it. Been on my Facebook page for reasons unknown to man and stumbled on a funy post i did a long while ago. Decided to erase my old answers and put up a new one.

The instruction : Put your iPod on shuffle and for each question, get a song and write it down. No cheating.  Here we go1

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
Better than me -Hinder

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Why am I the one- Fun

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL
Criminal -Disturbed (God forbid yo!)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I don’t Care – Apocalyptica / Adam Gontier

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE??
Torn – Natalie Imbruglia (Hia!)

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Oblivion – 30 seconds to Mars

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The World’s Greatest- R Kelly (Yes, I still have this song and YES I AM THE GREATEST!)

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Dirty Little Secret – All American Rejects (Lol. Lips sealed)

9) WHAT IS 2+2?
Open and Close – EFA (LOL!)

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Devil’s Own – 5Finger Death Punch (:'( )

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Tie me down and Fuck me hard – Concentus (*dies* LOOOL! TRUTH!!!!!! ^_^)

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Bonnie and Clyde – Sergie Gainsbourg/ Brigitte Bardot

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Dirty Diana- Michael Jackson (Wahala)

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Keep on Runnin’ – Tom Jones (Run or I’ll eat you. Thirsty FC)

15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Lost- Avenged 7 fold (Why me? 😦 )

16) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Would you love a monsterman – Lordi (Mbanu! This is a bad omen. You and who is loving a monster?)

17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Not Ready to die- Avenged 7 fold (LOOOOOL! A bit too late for that isn’t it Chichi?)

18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Dance with the Devil- Breaking Benjamin (Oho! Azonto with Esu.)

19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I’m too sexy for my love -Boliche (LMAO! Deleting this song!)

20) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Sons of Plunder- Disturbed

21) WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Collapsing- Demon Hunter

22) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Asylum -Disturbed ( Oh Lord.)

23) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET
Some Nights- Fun

24) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Two wrongs- Wyclef Jean

25) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Lonely Day – System of  down (You have no idea. Sigh)

26) WHY WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
Iron Maiden -The Ises  (Hm..)

27) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
I Still Haven’t Found What Im Looking For – Disturbed cover. (Big fear)

28) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Hide and Seek -Imogen Heap

29) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Crush Resistance – Haste The Day (As per Pro-Government? No tainz.)

30) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
The Beautiful people – Marilyn Manson

31) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
I’m so sick- Flyleaf (Baiclly…)

I am done.
That’s it for today. No idea what tomorrow will bring but post, I WILL.
TEE *sneeze* HEE

Memoirs of a Cobra


Hey people!
Been a bit quiet here hasn’t it? First post of November yea?
Decided to take a little break from writing anything serious, sorry. Taking my time to do more reading. Maybe I’ll recommend some books on here soon!
The good news is that I’d be putting up some of my old stories and some other random posts all lifted off my Facebook notes. Lol.

Anyway, today I have a new writer here, trying out his hands at the whole blogging thing! His handle, @volturi_lord and his blog would be kicking off at http://naijadude.wordpress.com/
For today, we have a poem (or spoken word type of thing).
Enjoy!

Memoirs of a Cobra.

I slither through the opening into the sandy place.

Down in the corner, there’s a place of shade

Where I can rest from the sun’s scorching heat.

There’s a clang which startles me.

The wall under which I passed has opened

And towards me walks two high animals.

The ones that have plagued me right from birth,

Pursuing me with sticks and stones, trying to kill me.

I raise my head and look towards them.

They stop in their tracks, spotting me at the same instant.

They make sounds and move about frantically.

Out of the tall stone another one comes, something long protruding from his hands.

Stones land around me and I move to avoid them.

I spit out of fear and anger;

Fear for my life and anger at their hostility.

I make it to the wall which opens and I slither underneath,

Into that long ground of stone

Which goes on and on and on.

Something heavy hits my body and I can no longer move.

They make more sounds and increase in numbers.

These high animals that have broken me.

My head in raised in agitation and in pain, I spit.

Also,  in desperation too as I need to get away.

I try but I can’t move.

It’s surprising.

Its like they have divided me in two,

And I’m joined together by piece of hide and flesh.

There is a whirling sound and an iron animal comes.

It stops and from it two of the higher animals alight.

They stand with the others, multiplying themselves every second

A little distance away; my spit can’t reach them,

Why are they so hostile?

Why do they hate me so?

All I want is a cool place to rest and now I am bruised.

He comes towards me, walking on two sticks

Another is protruding from him: it is flat with a sharp looking edge

I  spit at him and he does the same.

This disconcerts me and I turn away.

Then he brings the sharp edge against my neck …

                                                                                                                                                              – Dankaro

—————————————————————————

That is it!
What do you think? Anyone had snake experiences before? Share!
A thank you to @volturi_Lord for the contribution!
If anyone considers themselves to be good at writing and has something I can use here, do get at me via Twitter, @weird_oo and we’d take it from there. 😀

I’ll see you soon!
Tee Hee!

Once Upon a Time – A Play


Allo!
C’est moi, Madmoiselle Phantom Pages and today, I have something different for you today!
As you’ve probably realised, I try out diffrent writing styles and genres and today, decided to try for a play!
If you see this play as crazy, then you’re most likely normal because it is crazy but hey, Ideas are ideas!
Hope you enjoy my own story about two Nigerian couples in Jerusalem!

ONCE UPON A TIME

SET: IN JERUSALEM DURING THE TIME OF JESUS

CHARACTERS:

Jesus
Mary
Joseph
The Ogbonnas:, Papa Nonso, Mama Nonso, Nonso
The Ajalas: Iya Moji, Papa Moji
Mary of Magdalene
Crowd.

____________________

ACT I

 

                                                    SCENE 1

                               (In a busy evening market place in Jerusalem, Mama Nonso is seated inside her stall, fanning herself. She occasionally calls to the crowd to purchase her goods. Iya Moji passes by)

 

MAMA NONSO

Iya Moji! well done o! I am greeting!

 

IYA MOJI

(IYA MOJI turns at the greeting. Seeing MAMA NONSO, she walks into her stall and sits down on a stool)

Ah…

(She sighs heavily)

Mummy Nonso bawo…

 

MAMA NONSO

 I am fine o! You’re frowning today. What is the matter?

IYA MOJI

 (Shaking her head sadly)

My dear things have just been poor o. The kind of taxes I have been paying wo! Caesar wan kill person for this place o.

MAMA NONSO

(Tuts in commiseration)

Eyaa…Nne it’s not only you. I haven’t been able to sell anything all day!

IYA MOJI

(Fold her hands under her chin, jerking her knee)

 My dear what can we do? I can’t even get enough fish to sell…

MAMA NONSO

Ah! Why now? What happened to Simon your fisherman?

IYA MOJI

(Hisses)

That one!

(Claps hand and hisses again)

 MAMA NONSO

 (Looking confused)

O gini kwa? Did you two have a disagreement?

IYA MOJI

No o! Disagreement e no dey this one o! The nonsense man decided all of a sudden to stop fishing! All of a sudden! Ah!

MAMA NONSO

(Chuckles)

Biko Iya m. Stop making me laugh. Which one is stop fishing? Simon? That one that had been fishing kemgbe! How now?

IYA MOJI

(Shows MAMA NONSO her hands and places them back under her chin)

It is just like magic o. I heard he now follows that Jesus boy around.

MAMA NONSO

(Looking confused)

Jesus? Which Jesus?

IYA MOJI

Ah Jesus na! Aunty Mary pikin!

MAMA NONSO

Oh that one! Eh… Why is he following him?

IYA MOJI

Ah so you haven’t heard?

(Claps and sighs)

MAMA NONSO

(Holds IYA MOJI’s knee)

Heard what Iya m? Talk na!

IYA MOJI

Mummy Nonso things are happuni o. Jesus say he is the son of God o.

MAMA NONSO

 (Bursts into fits of laughter)

Biko nwa nne m. Repeat yourself. Jesus said what?

IYA MOJI

(Chuckles a little)

Is not a laughing matter ah! Jesus eh. Aunty Mary and Uncle Joseph pikin talk say him be God son o! Mummy Nonso e tire me!

MAMA NONSO

 (MAMA NONSO Laughs harder. She sighs and cleans her tears of mirth)

When this madness start nne? Ha ga kpokwa nke a gini?

IYA MOJI

(IYA MOJI sighs and gets up)

Wo! Me, I am tire! Mummy Nonso make I go house. Papa Moji would come back and be hungry. You know men. They don’t play with food!

MAMA NONSO

(Gets up as well)

Nne I know. Let me leave you nwanyi oma. Sorry I didn’t offer you anything! Greet Baba Moji for me I nu?

IYA MOJI

(Smiles and waves)

 I will. Oya odaabo o. Greet Daddy Nonso and Nonso

(IYA MOJI exits)

 

 

MAMA NONSO

 (Sits back own and fold her arms under her armpit)

Jesus? Son of God kwa? Let Amadioha not strike him dead o! Hia!

(Fades…)

SCENE TWO

(At Aunty Mary’s salon.

Female apprentices are busy washing women’s hair. Mary is walking about, supervising them.)

(Enter IYA MOJI into the salon)

IYA MOJI

 Ah! Aunty Mary. You’re in today. Afternoon ni o!

MARY

(Sees IYA MOJI and smiles)

 Iya Moji. Customer. You’re welcome. Please sit down.

(Makes a chair available for IYA MOJI)

IYA MOJI

(IYA MOJI sits and removes her scarf)

 Ah thank you my dear.

MARY

 (MARY moves behind IYA MOJI and runs her fingers through her hair)

Your usual wash right?

IYA MOJI

 Yes o jare. The hair is itch me bad bad.

MARY

(MARY combs and begins to wash IYA MOJI’s hair)

So Iya Moji how is Daddy and Moji?

IYA MOJI

 They’re fine o. How is Joseph and your children?

MARY

 (Pours water on hair and continues washing)

They’re great. Joseph wants to retire from his carpentry business and hand over to James.

IYA MOJI

Ehen? But is not righti o!

MARY

 (Pauses for a second and continues)

It’s not right?

IYA MOJI

 (Clicks tongue)

Lailai!

MARY

 (Rinsing and patting hair dry)

How is it not right?

 

IYA MOJI

Eh na! The business is supposed to pass on to the first son. The business is supposed to be for Jesus, beeni!

MARY

 (Smiles)

Well…my son Jesus has his ministry. He cannot take on the business. It has to be James.

IYA MOJI

 (Turns to face MARY)

Ah Aunty Mary! So the rumors are true! You and Joseph are letting Jesus go mad up and down? Ah! Aunty Mary! He’s your first son o! You’re supposed to sit him down as his mother beeni! Sit him down and tell him to stop his madness before they arrest him o!

MARY

(Laughs)

Iya Moji it’s not like that. Jesus was called into this ministry. You see I conceived him before I knew Joseph. An angel, Gabriel appeared to me and told me I would bear a son who would be the Saviour of the world. Jesus is the son of God.

IYA MOJI

 (Stands up slowly, a look of disbelief on her face)

I can see where your son got his madness from. Ori e o pe! Instead of you to take my advice and be a good mother you’re here telling me stories. Angel Gabriel appeared to you?

(Claps hands and laughs in derision)

Angeli Gabriel ko. Angeli Malaika ni!

MARY

(Affronted)

I am telling the truth! I was conceived of the Holy-

IYA MOJI

(Interrupts)

Make i hear word abegi! Take your money!

(IYA MOJI drops coins into MARY’s laps and walks away, mumbling about stupid women and angels. MARY stares after her, confused, mouth open)

(Fades..)

SCENE 3

(At the house of the Ogbonnas. In the morning, Mama Nonso, runs out of her house crying and screaming)

MAMA NONSO

PAPA NONSO! PAPA NONSO OOOOOO! BIAKWA! BIAKWA! PAPA NONSO!

(A young man, NONSO, carrying a bag over his shoulder tries to come out of the house but MAMA NONSO runs back and blocks him. She holds his shirt.)

NONSO

(Trying to remove his mother’s grip on his shirt)

Mama leave me alone! Leave me alone let me go!

MAMA NONSO

(Still crying)

I’m not leaving you alone ooooo! Nonso i choro igbu m! You want to kill me! PAPA NONSO!

(NONSO struggles to move past to no avail. PAPA NONSO rushes to the scene and holds his crying wife.)

 

PAPA NONSO

Nwanyi O gini! O gini n’isi ututu a! This early morning! What is it? What is happening here! Mgbo Nonso! What is happening!

NONSO

(Pointing at his mother)

Papa! It’s mama! She won’t let me go and join Jesus and be a disciple!

MAMA NONSO

(MAMA NONSO begins screaming again, throwing herself on the ground)

Ewoooooooooo! Anwula m ooooo! Jesus anapuna m otu nwa m nwere! Jesus has stolen my only son! Anadioha biakwa eeeee!

PAPA NONSO

(Shouts angrily at his wife)

Nwanyi mechie onu! Shut up let me listen to the boy!

(MAMA NONSO stops screaming, biting her fingers, crying silently)

 

PAPA NONSO

(Turns to face his son)

Nonso. Where are you going to?

NONSO

(Sighs)

Papa…I said I am going to join Jesus. Papa he works wonders! He made the mad man down the street well papa! He heals people! I saw it with my own eyes! I believe he’s the son of God and I want to obey his Father in heaven.

PAPA NONSO

(Shaking his head, looking dismayed)

But Nonso you cannot just leave us. You’re our only son. You need to settle down, marry and give us grandchildren eh Nonso nwa m…

NONSO

(Slowly slinks away from the door)

Mba papa! No! Jesus said we should seek the kingdom of God first and his righteousness. I am going. Papa. Mama. God bless you.

(NONSO runs away. PAPA NONSO tries to chase him, screaming for NONSO to come back. MAMA NONSO begins screaming and crying, rolling herself on the ground)

(Fades)

SCENE 4

(The same day, in the afternoon.
At Joseph’s carpentry workshop.
JOSEPH and one of his sons are busy working on a table.
PAPA NONSO walks in with MAMA NONSO.
JOSEPH notices them and stops what he is doing.
He looks confused at their sombre faces)

JOSEPH

(Motions them to a long bench)

 Mr. and Mrs. Ogbonna. Is there a problem? Please seat down.

PAPA NONSO

(Shakes his head)

This is not a sitting matter Mr. Joseph. If we wanted to sit down we’d have stayed at home.

JOSEPH

(Looking confused)

 Ok. I am sorry. Please what is the matter?

PAPA NONSO

(Clears throat before speaking)

The problem is your son Jesus. He has stolen our son Nonso away with his…his cult.

 

JOSEPH

(Sighs and sits down)

Jesus again. If I had a denarii every time someone came here to report about Jesus, I will be a rich man. Today, it’s the Pharisees coming to complain. Tomorrow the Sadducees would come from another corner. Now you people. What am I to do?

MAMA NONSO

(Kneels down, pleading)

Papa Jesus bikozie nu. Just speak to your son. Tell him to bring Nonso back biko. He’s our only son. Otu nwa a m muru…

(MAMA NONSO stays crying again. PAPA NONSO consoles his wife)

PAPA NONSO

(To his wife)

Ebezina nwanyi oma m. Biko o?

JOSEPH

(Sighs and wipes his forehead)

Mr. Ogbonna I’m sorry but I cannot help. Jesus is not my son. I am just a poor substitute for an earthly father. I cannot persuade him to do anything against ‘The will of his Father’. I am sorry.

(JOSEPH goes back to his work. PAPA NONSO consoles MAMA NONSO and they walk away)

 

(Fades)

SCENE 3

(At the Ajala residence)

(IYA MOJI is screaming at her husband who has just been caught sleeping with another woman, Mary of Magdalene. He is wearing only a wrapper. Mary is beside him cowering, trying to cover her nakedness with a cloth hastily tied to her chest)

IYA MOJI

(Screaming at the top of her voice)

OLOSHI! OLOSHI! OLORI BURUKU! ORI E DA! STUPID MAN! SANGO WILL KILL YOU TODAY! USELESS MAN!

(IYA MOJI holds his wrapper and pulling it. BABA MOJI is trying to prise her hands from it)

BABA MOJI

(Trying to hush his wife in a low tone)

 Bukola o da be o! O ti to-

IYA MOJI

(Ignores his pleas and continues screaming)

GBE ENU SOUN! USELESS MAN! YOU’RE NOT ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! BE DISGRACING YOURSELF WITH STUPID SMALL GIRLS. AH! BABA MOJI!

(IYA MOJI leaves him and drags MARY)

 

IYA MOJI

IWO! IWO! Mary Magdalene abi kini oruko e!

(MARY sobbing and covering her face so IYA MOJI‘s slaps land on get arms)

IYA MOJI

Omo oshi! Omo ale jati jati! Useless girl! That’s how you go about sleeping with peoples husbands! O ri e!

 

(IYA MOJI tries to year the wrapper covering MARY‘s nakedness but MARY holds on to it tight)

MARY

(Sobbing)

 I am sorry Ma… Please…

IYA MOJI

Shut up there! Oniranu! Abi you! Mary Mangelina abi Angelina! Angelica nko! Omo odo! They will stone you today!

(People begin to gather at the scene)

IYA MOJI

(IYA MOJI begins to yell at them)

Stone am o! Kill this stupid girl! Idiot! Stone this stupid man I call my husband too!

BABA MOJI

(Begging IYA MOJI)

AH! BUKOLA! STONE ME! Ah! What will Moji say! Bukky! Ma binu!

IYA MOJI

(Continues screaming, tying and untying her wrapper)

Why didn’t you think of Moji when you were between this Omo oshi’s legs! YOU ARE MAD! O RI O PE!

(She tries slapping him but he dodges. The crowd gets agitated and begin to pick up stones. MARY is crying to herself, trying to hide her face in shame. Suddenly the crowd goes quiet and parts. JESUS walks in to the scene)

JESUS

(Turns to IYA MOJI)

Woman, what is happening here?

IYA MOJI

(Glares at him and hisses)

I see you don’t have respect again eh Jesus omo Mary! You’re calling me woman! Is that how to address your elders?

(JESUS ignores her and turns to an onlooker, asking the same question)

ONLOOKER

Mary was caught fornicating with Baba Moji so we’re going to stone her.

JESUS

(Stares at them all and a hush falls)

Is that so? Ah nnkan be…

 

(He squats on the ground, doodling without lifting his head up)

He who is without sin should cast the first stone.

(With that, JESUS ignores them all, still doodling. The crowd drop their stones and slowly disperse. JESUS lifts up his head and it is just him, IYA MOJI, BABA MOJI and MARY there.

 

JESUS

(Turns to MARY and BABA IBEJI)

Where are your accusers?

(MARY shrugs, still sobbing quietly. JESUS turns to IYA MOJI)

 

JESUS

Forgive. As your Father in heaven forgives you your lies and gossip, forgive them. Sin is sin. Your lying is just as bad as their sin.

(Just as JESUS is speaking, PAPA NONSO rushes into the scene, carrying his wife, who looks dead. He comes to JESUS and falls at his feet, crying)

PAPA NONSO

Jesus! Please! Nonso said you perform miracles. Biko! My wife! She just fell down and won’t talk. She’s shaking. Please. Help her!

(IYA MOJI rushes to MAMA NONSO‘s side)

 

IYA MOJI

(Places hands on head and starts wailing)

Ah! Mogbe! Mummy Nonso! Ah! Daddy Nonso o! Ah!

JESUS

(JESUS touches MAMA NONSO‘s forehead)

Rise up and walk

(MAMA NONSO‘s eyes flicker and open. She stands up, looking dazed. They’re all in shock.

PAPA NONSO kneels at JESUS’ feet. BABA MOJI and IYA MOJI follow suit. MARY joins them)

 

IYA MOJI

Ah e jo! Your mother was righti o! You’re the son of God true true! A miracle worker noni!

BABA MOJI

Please! Omo mi! Have mercy on me!

MARY

Yes Sir! Mercy.

JESUS

(Rises)

Go and sin no more.

(JESUS leaves them kneeling and bewildered and walks away. They all stand up.)

 

BABA MOJI

(Turns to his wife)

Iyawo mi. Forgive me. I will never do this again. I will never cheat on you. E jo. Bukky… Omo toh shan.. Ife mi…

IYA MOJI

(Mellows and sighs)

You will not kill me o Baba Moji. Eh…Ok o…

MARY

(Comes forward and kneels at her feet)

I am sorry ma. I will never do this again. This is all I do to feed. I have no other job…

IYA MOJI

(Helps MARY her up)

I have heard you. As a young girl, don’t go and sell your body for money. It is not goodi o! To be breaking marriages ah! Is a evil something beeni! I forgive you. I can employ you in my fish business. I need an assistant. Oya go and dress up first.

MARY

(Gets up)

Ah! Thank you Ma! Thank you!

(She runs inside the house. PAPA NONSO hugs MAMA NONSO)

 

 

 

MAMA NONSO

(Still dazed)

He healed me…

PAPA NONSO

Yes…

 

MAMA NONSO

Nonso…

PAPA NONSO

Nonso is fine with him. Jesus is…He is a God man. Nonso is fine.

(MAMA NONSO sobs softly and scene fades)

THE END o!

———————————————————————————————————

😀

TEE HEE!

The Hunger Games?


Hey! Impromptu post! Something that just came to mind as I was on my way to work! If you haven’t read or watched Hunger Games, you probably won’t fully understand this the way I want you to so do me a favour, WATCH IT! (After  you read…or before you read…whatever)

Anyway, ENJOY!

——————————————————

He slid into her, pacing himself, reveling in her languid moans.
*******************************

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to this segment of the Hunger Games event!”

(Crowd cheers)

“This event as we all know, has been going on for quite a while now. Till, date, we have only had 2 winners, emerge from this competition! Today, we shall be having a fresh batch of smerps as they are called, compete for the ultimate price, The Hand of Ova!”

(Crowd cheers louder. Cat-whistles rent the air)

“Oh. This just in. They are getting ready to come in. Ladies and Gentlemen, get ready to be blown! And here they come!! The contestants! A big cheer people!”

(Crowd cheers as the contestants swim into the narrow red tube.)

“We seem to have a huge turn out of contestants today! Let us hear what they have to say! Contestant 1! Let’s start from you. How are you feeling today!”

“Oh I’m ready to go! Flagella’s powered to the max. I know I will win this!”

(Crowd cheers wildly at the confident statement. Contestant 1 strikes a pose, flexing his head.)

“Thank you contestant 1! Let’s go over to Contestant 40! Our last contestant. How confident are you today? Will you survive and do what your predecessors have failed to do in the last three games?”

“Ah yessa. Me gonna win today. Ma momma tole me nota come back if ah lose. Me gonna win even say tis the last ting ah do.”

“Brave! Brave indeed! Though your momma failed to realise that you won’t be coming back if you don’t win as you’ll be dead! HAHAHA! Over to Contestant 15 who is a woman! A stunning one too! What’s your strategy to win honey?”

“I plan on using my charm and amazing beauty to convince the others to let me win”

“Oh smoking! Interesting strategy 15! Too bad you just revealed it so it won’t work would it? HAHAHA!”

(Crowd laughs uproariously)

“Contestant 23! You are dressed weirdly. Won’t these bags hamper your movements as you progress in the games?”

“Oh no. Just watch me. Oh just watch me. He. He. He.”

“Oh interesting chap. Creepy. And that laugh, shivers. It seems the other Contestants are wary of him too! Anyway, enough of the chit-chat. Let’s get the games started! To our contestants, good luck and may the eggs be ever in your favour!”

(Crowd roars as the contestants go to the starting line)

“On your marks. Set. GO!”

“And they’re off! OH! CONTESTANT 23 HAS TURNED ON HIS MATES AROUND HIM! HE HAS REDUCED COMPETITION BY GETTING RID OF CONTESTANTS 5, 27,24 AND 30! AMAZING!”

(Crowd screams, egging him on)

“And first to get into the Great Wall of Uteru is Contestant 1! He is one to watch out for. Deftly avoiding the obstacles and forging ahead. Close behind him are contestants 3, 6, 12…oh and 13 has overtaken 12. Are they pushing? Nice! This I must say is turning out to be a better game than the last one! The contestants are not giving up!”

(Crowd suddenly start cheering and the commentator turns)

“Oh my Eggs! It’s Contestant 23!! He is getting rid of 12 and 13 as we speak! AMAZE-BALLS!! He has left a trail of destruction behind him! ALL OTHER CONTESTANTS BEHIND ARE DEAD! HOW DID HE DO THIS! WOW! Only four contestants are left on the course! We can see Contestant 1 looking back, trying to access the situation. He is losing the valuable lead he had gotten. Contestant 3 is slowly catching up, though I’m not sure what is really egging him on, the will to win or the threat of destruction from Contestant 23! He and Contestant 1 are in the Fallopi tube!  6 is closely behind and 23 is slowly catching up to 6! Oh! Oh my! 6 DOWN! CONTESTANT 6 IS DOWN! WOW! CONNIVING 23! VERY CONNIVING!”

(Crowd screams in jubilation)

“Wow! Contestant 23 is definitely proving to be the crowd’s favorite! They are baying for blood! Uh oh! What is this? Contestant 23 slips! It seems Contestant 3 had a trap set! Wonderful! keeps getting better! We can hear the crowd groan as their Wonderboy falls. He picks himself up and waved cheerily at the crowd. Oh, he’s riling them up! I think he has a plan!”

(Crowd chanting “23! 23! 23! 23!”)

“And he’s off, full throttle! Contestant 3 has overtaken Contestant 1! Oh he’s closing on to the finish line! We can see the price in view, the magnificent Ova! Will 1 catch up before 3 reaches the last stop or does 23 have another trick up his sleeves for us! Can he stop them fast enough to win?”

(The crowd still chanting, start pointing)

“Oh dear! 23 has stopped! I think this is the trick we’ve all been waiting for! This is going to be IT! OH! HE DROPS HIS BAG AND BRINGS OUT A CONTRAPTION! WHAT IS THIS? A MODIFIED SLING? He peers into a lens and clicks!”

(Crowd goes crazy)

“HOLY GENITALIA!!! CONTESTANT 3 IS OUT! SO IS 1! WOWWIDY!! IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR CONTESTANT 23 TO DO? HE CLEARLY GOT RID OF COMPETITION WITH THE STRANGE CONTRAPTION! A BRIGHT BEAM OF LIGHT AND WHOOSH! OH? IT’S CALLED A BAZOOKA! HOLY!!”

(Increased yell of “23!” continues)

“And the crowd is loving it! Look at him go! Strutting to the finish line! He stops and waves at the crowd and they’re going crazy! Fantastic! I must say Contestant 23 has been a joy to watch and his devotion to his fans is just top-notch! Wo..”

(Someone in the crowd screams)

“Oh dear! OH MY PRECIOUS EGGS! Unbelievable! The most unbelievable thing just happened! CONTESTANT 23 IS OUT! I REPEAT, HE IS OUT! WE HAVE NO WINNER!!!”

(Crowd boos in disappointment)

“Uh oh the crowd is not happy! Let me explain what just happened here. It seemed Contestant 3 had not died yet! He was able to shoot something at Contestant 23 before he crossed the Finish line! Amaze-balls! And Contestant 3 died immediately after! He must have used up his last energy to fire that bolt of energy! This is what the games are about! This is why we are here! This is the HUNGER GAMES!!!”

(Crowd grudgingly claps, and soon, the applause spreads across the gallery)

“This has been an amazing experience here at the Reproductive Centre! For the fourth time, we have no winner but this undeniably has been the best game so far! How can we forget Contestant 23!”

(Crowd screams at the mention of Contestant 23)

“Ah! Wonderful crowd. Their posthumous support for Contestant 23 has been so great! Thank you very much for tuning in today! I shall be here once again, for the next round of Hunger Games. My name’s Fundus and it has been a pleasure being here today! Thank you once again and GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers and slowly, disperses)

****************************

She sighed in satisfaction.
“Think we probably made another baby?” she whispered
He drew her close and kissed her. “I bet we did”
She smiled and nodded.
“Andy and Jamie need a new sister!”
He chuckled “Or another brother!”
“Bah! Not another boy! I need a mini me”

They laughed and cuddled, and later slept.
No baby was conceived that night.
No winner at the Hunger Games.

—————————

TEE HEE!
😀
COMMENT!

*Gets back to work, listening to the BOSS nag*

Musings of a Psycho Somebody


Yes, Yes, stop feeling psychic with yaselves!
We know this is not a story! I’ve been busy…really busy. Too busy to pander to your osho-free needs of a good story. Shior.

Anyway, it’s that time of the month again.
I was cooking in the kitchen and suddenly, i remembered something hilarious that happened to me years ago. Mind you, it wasn’t hilarious then but my memories are like fine, old wine; better with age.
Anyway, yes.
You know there’s this survey that says “One in four people is a psycho/lunatic/cuckoo/ogbanje victim? Yes.
One day, I met that One in four people.
I was jehjehly coming back from college, walking to the bus stop. This boy stopped in front of me and said hi.
I hate being rude to people so I too said “Hello?”
“You look nice.”
I raised one eyebrow “Thank you?”
“What’s your name?”
At this point i was thinking, ‘Nna GTFOH make i pass’ but hey, I’m polite.
I said the first name that came to mind. “Ngozi”
“Oh what a beautiful name”

-_-
He was Somalian anyway…or he looked Somalian; curly hair, black shiny skin, big buttocks.
“Can i have your number?”
Hmm…Let me think “No.”
i walked around him and passed.
The dude followed me.
I entered the bus.
He entered the bus.
I felt “Hey, maybe he’s going the same way. Coincidence.”
For where!
I jumped down from the bus and took the second bus.
Dude did the same.
I was still thinking it was a conincidence.
I got down at my final stop.
Dude got down.
I turned.
“Are you following me?”
Dude smiled. “Yes. I want to know your house.”
Chineke. On top wetin?
I felt threatened i swear. My heart started beating fast mehn.
“Go away!” i said and started walking
“No”
This dude followed me.
My house has got two entrances.
I started walking fast. As in fast.
I wasn’t running yet.
The dude matched my speed.
I turned to him ” Dude if you don’t fucking back off i’d call the police!”
He smiled. “Call them”.
That’s when my soul told me “ChiChi, you don enter o”
I walking slowly…slowly. The dude was lured into a false sense of ‘She will take me to her house’ security.
Suddenly, i started running.
Dude did not expect it so i was able to move out of his line of sight before he started running.
Oh boy, the race wey i tear that day. Chi gurl was an animal mehn.
I ran like a bawse. B-)
Went home and started banging on the door.
“Open!! Open!!”
I was shouting o.
My sister opened the door and i jumped into the house and slammed the door shut.
I went to the kitchen and started looking through the window.
Saw the guy come and started pacing around. Trying to decide which house i entered into.
When he was tired, he left.
My sister was now asking me what was pursuing me.
“A dog. -_-”

After that day, “Hello girl”, ChiChi would cross the road and start walking fast.
Abeg o.
Jesus did not die for that kind of nonsense.
But let me not lie, the reason i ran was because he wasn’t fine -_-
If he was…hehehe…
I wee show him that POWER pass power. Psycho pass psycho.
They call me the Minister of Internal Affairs. *coughs* *dusts shoulder*
Don’t ask who they is, thanks.

Anyway, That’s all!
Hey if you have had any crazy experience with a psycho man or woman, share!!
😀

Last Christmas


Hello! This post isn’t a new one, No Sir! This was a story I wrote as an entry for an online writing competition still going on at http://www.thenakedconvos.com titled The Writer. If you’re on twitter, you can follow the hash tag #TheWriter for all the updates and interviews. Well, my story didn’t make the cut. Guess it wasn’t my best. Different from my usual perhaps! LOL at the title btw. It was originally titled This Christmas but as Keresimesi don pass na… *Weirdo shrug*

Enough of the endless prattling. Enjoy!

 

 LAST CHRISTMAS

I’m suddenly thinking about bees; those fat yellow-black monsters I used to chase at my gran’s garden when I was still young, during the summer-y months of July and August. I wonder why I’m thinking about them. Maybe it’s because of how similar they sound to the clipper that shaved off my red locks of hair some weeks ago at this very place. Yes, it all started with thinking about hair. Hair to bees. It’s funny how my mind roams randomly. This salon is almost like a hive, with the eternal bzzzt of a dozen clippers, the soft, metallic chop chop of two dozens scissors and the innumerable murmurs of ‘Thanks’ and ‘Come back again’.
I close my eyes and I can almost feel the summer’s sun on my skin; almost smell the compost in the garden. My nose wrinkle instinctively at the memory. I never really liked that smell, especially when it was watered down with either the odd rain or gran’s watering hose.
“Madam?”
My eyes snap open. I remember where I am, far away from the farm in both distance and years. The woman smiles at me. I wonder how long she has been here standing, watching me in my closed-eye musing. I smile sheepishly in apology and thanks, following her. Humming a carol tune along with the jukebox, we make our way to her office.
“Have a holly jolly Christmas…”
On our way, we pass several posters of multi-racial women with beautiful hair, smiling brilliantly at whatever camera lenses were capturing their images at that moment. I throw one raven-haired a cheeky grin and cackle in my head.

The Christmas song doesn’t leave my head even as I walk outside into the stinging cold, package I went to collect, in hand. I readjust my bright red scarf (Christmas spirit!) across my neck, singing softly as I walk down the street to the hospital.
“I don’t know if there’ll be snow…”
Well there isn’t! Back in Cumbria, houses would have been snowed in by now. Not here of course. All we have for now in London is the rain.
The blue and white NHS signpost welcomes me back and with surety, my feet walk unaided to the ICU. I go past a brightly adorned faux Christmas tree and several strips of green and red decorations; tell-tale signs of someone trying into infuse some cheer in the wards. Sadly, only the members of staff would get to enjoy its beauty; patients strapped to life-giving machines can’t, can they?
“Oh my have a holly jolly Christmas this year!” I whisper as I walk into her room, smiling.
I gently drop my bag, bringing out the early Christmas present. They had done a good job! I walk up to her bedside, bed springs squeaking as I lower my frame to sit.
She’s asleep, chest rising and falling in tandem to the beeping of the huge machine beside her bed.
My lovely angel.
A smile tugs at the side of my lips as I listen to her whistling breath. One genetic trait her father managed to smear on her ‘mini-mummy’ characteristics. My smile turns sad as I remember George.

He left.
He left me four years ago with a one-month old baby to care for all by myself. We were not married after all; no vows holding him down.
The weasel.
She was my bundle of joy, the bundle of joy I refused to abort for his selfish reasons.
I’m her mummy and her daddy; always have been, always will be.
I rub her bald head gently, feeling the tiny pricks of new hair growing. She used to have beautiful, shiny auburn hair, like her mama. Her illness changed that. It started with dizzy spells; then graduated to frightening seizures. Routine brain scans equalled a skinhead four-year old girl.
The brain scans would continue until the doctors are sure about what exactly is wrong with her. They’re confused.
Been a month already. I would not think about it; not now. Maybe in January, after Christmas.
Gently, I wear her the gift.
My gift of Love.
I can’t help smiling.
“Merry Christmas hun” I whisper, kissing her forehead. My tummy growls its protest at being left unattended to.
“Oh hush” I mutter as I get up, picking up my umbrella and wallet.

Windy rain.
I struggle to hold on to my umbrella but a sharp gust of wind snatches my partner away from me, twirling it in a dainty pirouette. My arms flail in protest.
“There!”
A young man manages to grab on to it before it flies afar.
“Thanks!” I exclaim in gratitude.
His eyes travel across my face to my head and I watch his eyes widen in surprise. I had forgotten my hat. I see his face soften in pity and I can instantly tell what he’s thinking.
Bald head.
Chemotherapy.
Cancer.
“Merry Christmas” he whispers and walks away.
I want to call out to him and correct him but I doubt he’d understand.
What better gift can a mother give her child?

“Mummy do you think there’s a chimney in the hospital?”
I looked up from my reading “Why baby?”
She coughed a little and I went to her side.
“Well dunno if Santa comes to hospitals.”
“Of course he does baby.”
She smiled.
“Mummy, do you think Santa can get me new hair?”
My eyes suddenly smarted.
I kissed her forehead.
“I’m sure he will”
She grinned in satisfaction, her hands playing with my hair.
“New hair as pretty as yours mummy.”

I’m her mummy, her daddy and her Santa.
Call me crazy if you will, but I made a wig for my baby with my hair. Unusual perhaps but then I’ve never been known to be ‘usual’ now have I?
I smile at his retreating back.
“Merry Christmas” I murmur.

————————————

That’s it!

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