Dionysus: Ok, taking a slight break from the usual darkness in my writings. This is my first attempt at comedy. Enjoy!

*Doorbell Rings*

He dropped his Xbox 360 console pad, and spoke into the intercom by his bedside.
“Who’s there ?”
“I’m looking for Johnny”, the person outside replied.
Butterflies in the stomach.
“OMG, she’s here! She’s here!” He picked up some clothes scattered on the bedroom floor, ran to check himself in the mirror adjusting the large frames on his face.
“Hello! Is Johnny there??”
“Yes, Coming!”
He descended the stairs and opened the door.
Johnny tried to reply but couldn’t, his mind racing.
“H.. Ha..Hi”.
His trouser started rising up so he stood at the back of the door trying to hide his reflex boner. Johnny was a Geek. He was the kid in school the jocks made fun of when they got bored, laughing as they came up with insults. He had just finished high school and was about turning 18. One of his nerdy friends told him about an online hookup site, ‘Onenitestand.com’. You search for a girl in their directory and if she’s near your location, you call for a shag as long as you agree with the terms & conditions. Johnny’s choice was a girl named Jenny. He was surprised; she was even hotter in real life than she looked online.

“Co.. Come in” He said adjusting the glasses on his face. She entered and perched herself on the couch in the living room.
“Are you gonna leave that door and get me a drink?” Johnny’s face turned deep red from the uncontrollable blushing.
“Just a minute”.
She sighed. “Listen, I know you’re hard, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. You said this is gonna be your first time right?”
“Yes” he whispered, still standing by the door.
“Ok, maybe this would make you feel better” She took her top off exposing a red silk bra and deep cleavage. Johnny’s eyes widened like a character in an anime. Sure, he had watched a lot of porn but he had never seen real tits before. His dick got harder leaving him feeling very embarrassed at this point. Jenny stood up and walked up to him, he, avoiding her gaze as she came closer.
“It’s ok Johnny, I’m gonna make you feel good. You have my money right?”

“Ye.. Yeah” he dipped his hands into his trouser pockets and gave her a wad of cash in a hurry like she was about to mug him. She carelessly dropped the money into the sling bag she was carrying. Holding his hand, she made him lead her to his bedroom. Video game posters decorated the walls, also, a pic of Giselle Bundchen in a white bikini on the beach.
“Take off your clothes.”
He hesitated. She took off her bra, her perfect dark pink nipples staring him in the eye. He was about to cum just for the sheer beauty before him.
“Just lay back”. She knelt down in front of him and pulled his pants down, exposing his erection. “Hmmmm, not bad” she muttered to herself. As soon as she started fondling him, she heard ‘Auuuugh!.. Auuugh!.. Auuuugh!’ semen spilling on her hand. She laughed uncontrollably.
“Whada fuck! I haven’t even done anything Johnny and you came!” She put on her bra and was getting ready to leave.

“Bu.. But, we haven’t done anything” Johnny said.
“Didn’t you read the terms dude? As soon as you cum, it’s over!”
“But… But… But.. But.. ”
“No buts sweet cheeks! Before you call me next time, make sure you jerk off the day before so you don’t come so quickly aite?” She counted her money, smiling. Satisfied, she left him without a good bye. He heard the door bang shut a minute later.

Johnny lay on his bed staring at the ceiling.


Phantom: For some reason best known to me, I totally found the stereotyping in this story hilarious! 😀 Drop comments thanks 🙂